1. 01:45 18th Dec 2013

    Notes: 1

    Baby crazies

    For a number of reasons, I’ve found myself thinking a lot lately about the idea of having children someday.

    Some of you have either already groaned and felt the urge to stop reading or you’re jumping to conclusions and freaking out, but bear with me while I explain.

    I think a lot of women who aren’t already mothers think, at least from time to time, about the idea of having a baby. It’s been coming up a lot in the public forum lately because of national politics concerning planned parenthood, birth control and abortion. My awareness of those topics has been amplified because two of my siblings both recently celebrated the births of their first-borns, one in August and one in November. And if there was even a small chance I could mentally avoid the thought after all that, I’m also in a stage of my life when I’m constantly seeing posts on Facebook about friends getting engaged, married or expecting their first children.

    So, based on all that, I hope you can understand why this post seems timely for me, and why it’s not a confession or a rant.

    I also think there’s a larger conversation to be had.

    To a certain extent, I think the idea of giving birth is just one of those things a woman naturally thinks about every now and then (personally, I occasionally have pregnancy dreams and they freak me the hell out). But it’s recently occurred to me that I have no idea how most of my close friends feel about motherhood.

    We probably don’t talk about it because it’s complicated and personal, but maybe we don’t talk about it because we’re afraid we won’t like what we hear.

    Like many non-mothers, I hate it whenever I voice doubt about having kids and the response is, “You’ll change your mind someday.”

    Coincidentally, I’ve recently stumbled on a few articles that address why not wanting children is perfectly acceptable, and why the “you’ll change your mind” response isn’t accurate or fair.

    I totally agree with that idea an those articles, but now I’m stuck with the notion that the topic is cut-and-dry: Either I should be proud of my desire to be a mother or confident in my decision not to be.

    I haven’t yet found someone talking about the fact that she has no fucking idea what she wants, and that she actually changes her mind about it all the time.

    So I guess I’m just going to have to write that point of view, because I’m that woman.

    I’m going to refer to two pieces of writing I’ve seen recently and, when put side by side, sum up my feelings as well as anything can.

    The first was posted on Facebook by a friend. It’s a thoughtcatalog.com article (http://thoughtcatalog.com/abby-rosmarin/2013/12/to-the-women-who-choose-not-to-have-kids/) that falls into the category of “why it’s okay not to want kids.”

    The writer starts:

    “To the women who choose not to have kids, I have one thing to say to you: Thank you. You probably don’t hear it enough. You probably don’t hear it at all. What you do hear is an array of pro-childbearing responses, such as, “You’ll change your mind someday…”

    She goes on:

    “Thank you for recognizing that childrearing isn’t for you and being true to who you are. It doesn’t mean you hate kids. It just means that raising one is not part of your path in life.”

    “…Raising children is a difficult, onerous, frustrating and disappointing gig. It’s tough enough for those who want it. It is a rewarding and loving gig as well, but it’s not something one should go into while focusing only on reward and love and societal acceptance.”

    I agree entirely. I love kids, but they kind of terrify me and I don’t feel entirely confident that my stubborn personality and aversion to commitment are great ingredients for parenthood.

    Then again I also recently read a piece by Ariel Levy in the New Yorker that caused a reaction I wasn’t expecting.

    Levy is a woman I admire and respect for her journalism and amazing ability to capture humanity through her writing. She starts by explaining how she became a successful and worldly reporter, one who has traveled to most corners of the earth and has lived a life many journalists only dream of. Her job was her life and she loved it. It’s a sentiment I identify with. She made the decision to become a mother sound almost like another story assignment – something you embark on because you’re curious and want to know what it’s like.

    Eventually she goes into excruciating, heartbreaking detail about losing her baby only minutes after he was born while on assignment in Mongolia.

    The article is likely to break your heart no matter where you stand on the topic of motherhood. I think I need only to quote the following sentence to help you understand what I mean.

    “But the truth is, the ten or twenty minutes I was somebody’s mother were black magic. There is no adventure I would trade them for; there is no place I would rather have seen.”

    I, for one, sobbed through that part of the article and continued to weep for an unexpectedly long time after I finished reading. She evoked a deep, primal feeling in me that still makes my heart ache when I think about it, but I have no earthly idea why.

    Maybe it was good writing. Maybe it was genetic coding. The point is, I don’t think I have to know one way or another. If I end up with kids, I’m sure I’ll never regret it. If I choose to be a good aunty or a good role model, friend or teacher for other peoples’ kids, I think I’ll be just as fulfilled.

    I appreciate the support on both sides, but I don’t need someone to tell me if I’m doing the right thing because the truth is they can’t. I want to be more open about the notion with my good friends because that’s what good friends do – they talk about what they’re thinking and how they’re feeling, even if they’ve changed their minds dozens of times about the same topic. And in that same line, I want people to support me no matter what I ultimately decide.

     
  2. 03:15 26th Nov 2013

    Notes: 144859

    Reblogged from yeahwriters

    neil-gaiman:

    joehillsthrills:

    navaeragreenleaf:

    hollyblack:

    maureenjohnsonbooks:

    This graphic is fabulous. It represents a tiny crash course in rhetoric. Learn these things. Put them on your wall. Whisper them into the breeze. These are THINGS TO KNOW.

    Yeesssssssssss.

    Interesting

    Bookmark this shit and the next time someone begins gobbling nonsense at you on a social network, instead of engaging, point them to this handy chart. Also useful: Thought Catalog’s “How To Have A Rational Conversation" flowchart.

    This.

    (Source: logan43000)

     
  3. Am I genuinely eccentric or am I just wearing a funny hat?
     
  4. 17:37 23rd Nov 2013

    Notes: 1

    image: Download

    My first Instagram is about the weather. I can already tell I’m going to be good at this.

    My first Instagram is about the weather. I can already tell I’m going to be good at this.

     
  5. 14:47 18th Oct 2013

    Notes: 2

    Major life changes mean I suddenly re-discover Tumblr

    I just moved from Beaufort, S.C., to Elkhart, Ind. this week.

    It’s clearly a big life change so obviously, after months and months of ignoring Tumblr, I woke up this morning and decided I need to blog about it.

    I’ve moved quite a bit in the last 12 years or so. It started when I was 11 or 12 when my family moved from Milwaukee to Green Bay, Wis. From there, I moved to Missouri for journalism school, had a 4-month stint in Belgium, then journalism jobs brought me to South Carolina, and now to Elkhart. Since 2008 I’ve changed my address six times. 

    Through all those moves, I was able to take everything I own in one trip with in my car (Well… that’s not entirely true. I have a bag of clothes, a guitar and a box of books in storage at my parents’ house right now). It’s kind of sad, but I also saw it as a point of pride — I liked the freedom of being able to pick up and leave with no strings attached.

    Moving this time, however, felt different.

    Partly this is because of how hard it was to leave Beaufort. To me, it represents my first attempt at living and surviving in the “real world” on my own. As it turns out, Beaufort isn’t the best example of the “real” world because everything there — the people, the scenery, the lifestyle — is pretty surreal. Leaving those friends that treated me like family and the community which I’d grown to care so deeply about made me realize I don’t have too many more “big moves” left in me.

    As I drove up through South Carolina, North Carolina, Tennessee, Kentucky and finally Indiana, I felt more and more at ease — kind of like I was coming back to my natural habitat. I enjoyed the beaches, the marshes and the flora and fauna of the South, but stretches of farm fields and herds of white-tailed deer and cows are part of my genes. I actually laughed out loud in sheer joy when I saw a group of men enter a gas station wearing blaze orange and camo gear. I don’t think they were even going hunting — it’s just normal attire for many Midwestern areas. Come to think of it, it’s an outfit my dad sports year-round.

    My excitement grew the further north I got. I’ve had a couple days to settle in and explore my new home and, I’ve got to say, it’s pretty much butt-ugly compared to Beaufort landscape-wise. To the layperson, it looks industrial. It’s flat and drab (with the exception of the beautiful fall leaves). There’s evidence everywhere of how hard this town was hit by the economic recession. Vacant houses are everywhere and the empty shells of closed business sit on nearly every street as constant reminders of how much the people here have sacrificed and lost.

    True, the landscape can’t compete with Beaufort, but I still feel happy and comfortable with where I’ve landed. It’s familiar and wonderful in its own way. The leaf-strewn yards remind me of the one I grew up playing in. The late October weather is exactly how it should be — mid-50s, sunny and crisp. I can’t wait to have a white Christmas, even though I know I’ll be cursing the snow by February. 

    My parents are planning to bring furniture down for me this weekend. I’ll be shopping for a dining room table and chairs in the coming weeks. I don’t know how long I’ll be in Elkhart — hopefully for the long term — but I do know this: If I can help it, I won’t be traveling by the carload anymore. If I move again, I’m likely not going far and I’m going to need a moving truck. I know fall is typically a time for harvest but I think I’ll start this new chapter by finally, after nearly six years of jumping around, planting some roots.

     
  6. 03:23 8th Aug 2013

    Notes: 204

    Reblogged from nprfreshair

    nprfreshair:

    Lake Bell and Fred Melamed are on the show tomorrow to talk about their new film "In A World" about voice-over artists. We wanted to show you the trailer before the interview. Enjoy!

    ps. Nick Offerman, Tig Notaro, Demetri Martin!

    Want to see.

     
  7. 14:11 18th May 2013

    Notes: 411

    Reblogged from theonion

    image: Download

    theonion:

Coworker Who Went To Gym This Morning A Chipper Little Fucker: Full Report

All the words.

    theonion:

    Coworker Who Went To Gym This Morning A Chipper Little Fucker: Full Report

    All the words.

     
  8. I spent a couple months reporting on this case in the beginning of 2011. Apparently, many people in the media feel as I do that this one of those disturbingly complex cases that highlights major flaws in the justice system. I don’t have an opinion of whether these men are guilty or innocent, but I believe that sentiment is the result of a failure by both the defense, prosecution and judge. I am anxious for what the finished product of this documentary might look like.

    http://www.stltoday.com/sports/football/professional/rams-part-owner-rosenbloom-to-produce-documentary-on-missouri-murder/article_02d68de3-2256-58ff-8903-f0d47086b4ea.html

     
  9. … Write only what kicks you and keeps you overtime awake from sheer mad joy.
    — Jack Kerouac in a letter to Neal Cassady
     
  10. image: Download

    Howard Stern in the house! And on an unrelated note, my dog hates it when I go thrifting.

    Howard Stern in the house! And on an unrelated note, my dog hates it when I go thrifting.